Lucky for you, tonight I'm just me

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy"




Me of the Moment

Song stuck in my head: Jessica from Guitar Hero
Last movie I saw: Talladega Nights
Currently reading: The Night Masks, by RA Salvatore




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Thursday, October 30, 2003

 

I finally have readership, and I'm finding it's a blessing and a curse. It's really encouraging that people are interested in what I have to say, in fact, that's what makes this worthwhile, what makes it better than lonely paper journals. But the fact that rather a lot of people, mostly my close friends, read this makes me censor myself, again and again. I can't say the things I most need to get out because then an unpopular truth will get out or my Sarita will worry about me losing my mind. Maybe it's time for another forum, a new blog, a new space for my thoughts. Maybe I just need some release--a shrink, a drink, some exercise. I'm hoping this weekend will help me blow off some steam but I worry it will only add new levels of complication. For now I'm going to eat some frozen Jamba Juice, blast some music, and try to coax the physics problems into coming out right.


posted by Rena at 10:57 PM

 

I've felt oddly alert all day today, despite having slept less than five hours. I mean really unusually alert, like I'm highly caffeinated only without the jitters. Can't quite say why, but I like it.

The clouds from ealier this week are gone, which made the weather do a sudden dive into coldness, for the first time this year. As I walked to class this morning the chill cut through my sweater and the air tasted sharp in my throat. It just felt right. We're overdue for brisk weather, especially with Halloween right around the corner.

Speaking of Halloween, I think this year I will once again be celebrating by wearing my skull and crossbones earrings. That's about it. I'm running off to camp with James and Jason, so we probably won't do anything to celebrate the holiday except maybe watch scary movies. Meh.

History class was excellent today. We had a lively debate about the naming of various schools of historical analysis and whether we ought to have such names at all. One guy complained that if he ever gets papers published, he wants people to just read his argument and take it for what it is, not declare him a "quasi-neo-Marxi-Whig." The second half of class my prof had us draw pictures that illustrated Braudel's conception of various frames of time and how they overlap. Mine was a skier (the individual, the event) doing moguls after going up a lift (cyclical nature of time) against a backdrop of more mountains, trees, and weather conditions (the wider sweep of time that spans ages and sets up conditions for specific events to take place.) And I included a yodeler wearing lederhosen just for the hell of it. It was great.

Physics is turning out to be really interesting as well. We're just learning Newton's Law of Gravitation, and let me tell you, it's really cool. It's things like this that give me crazy ideas of changing my major or minor. But then I'd be here a lot longer.

My check finally came from the scones job at the fair. Turns out it came within two weeks of my last day of work, but my parents just forgot to mention they were holding a check for me. I've seen them twice since it came in the mail, and they not only didn't get it to me either of those times, they didn't mention it. Grrr. But the good news is that I'm now not so very broke as I have been all quarter.

Question of the day, overheard on the stairs on my way to class this morning: Do the best action heroes fight with guns, swords, arrows or explosives and gadgets?


posted by Rena at 3:07 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

 

Do you ever have those days where everything is somehow perfect just the way it is? Today's been like that. I slept until 11, so I'm totally rested. I had sushi and bottled frappuccino for lunch (yeah, I know, I'm a yuppie baby), and have spent the last four hours or so sitting on my couch, reading history texts, sipping black tea with milk, and nibbling warm brown bread with butter. The weather is beautiful outside, with blue sky and the kind of white fluffy clouds that look painted on. The construction workers seem to be done with the tar for now, and Sarah left with a friend to study physics. The room is so peaceful. It's absolutely perfect.

For a few weeks ealier this quarter I was obsessed with taking pictures of the clouds and the sunsets outside our window. The last few days have had the most impressive scenes yet, but I've stopped taking photos. The reality is just so lovely, no picture could ever do it justice. I think God is an artist, and this week he's painting here.

OK, I can't resist. Just one more photo.


posted by Rena at 4:41 PM

Monday, October 27, 2003

 

Today's moral dilemma, brought to you by a sweet girl who lives down the hall from me: is it insulting to give homeless people stale bread? Is it better to give nothing?


posted by Rena at 1:11 PM

 

The worst part of it all is that I actually have to go to my physics class. After whining all week about how easy a class it is, I seem to have gotten rather behind, and as I haven't read the sections we're covering in class today, I really should go. Grrr.


posted by Rena at 11:13 AM

 

It's one of those mornings. How can I tell? When I woke up, the room was overheated (like a freakin' sauna) and smelled like sleep and dirty laundry. Now that the windows are wide open, that smell has been replaced by the aroma of tar from the construction site across the street. We have so few clean dishes right now that I had to wash a plate to put my bagel on (our next apartment better have a dishwasher!) The smog is so thick I can't see to the other side of the water. I like to think I'm a root beer snob (Henry Weinhardt in the bottle, baby) but this morning I'm drinking A&W straight from the 2-liter plastic bottle. And I STILL have Simon & Garfunkel's "Red Rubber Ball" stuck in my head. Makes me sad because they're playing in Seattle this Saturday, but the cheap seats are $50. Saw Alabama last month for the same price, and I really shouldn't pay that much for a concert again so soon. But it's Simon and Garfunkel! They may never tour together again. Sigh. Why am I not rich?


posted by Rena at 10:56 AM

Sunday, October 26, 2003

 

I'm SO supposed to be studying, but I have lots to write, so I'll put it off a bit longer still.

Friday night James called me from camp, where he and many of my good friends were running Camp Halloween. It was excellent--I got to talk to some of my camp boys and be virtually present for their random antics. I miss that. Hopefully I'll be getting out to camp in the near future. And working at Sheppard; it's not Brinkley, but it's still camp and still with my camp boys.

Changed my schedule around at work, so I now have Halloween weekend off! Yes! The possibilities are endless....but somewhat limited by my lack of costume. I'll find out what James is doing--it would be really great to see him. But then, Jamie's offer to "party with the drunkards at home" is awfully tempting as well. And Sarah's and my previous plan of wandering down Broadway late at night to check out the costumes at Neighbours and going out for dessert (that's what we did last year) could be fun as well.

Last night we spent the night at Sophia's place in north Cap hill. We scored free Jamba Juice on the way, and the bus driver waved away our money, so we got to ride for free! We cooked salmon for dinner and pancakes for breakfast, watched an obscure suspense movie about terrorism (pre-9/11), sang Christmas carols, and had the requisite pillow fight (six chicks, two beds. you do the math). So much fun.

I finally bought a Johnny Cash album. It has Ring of Fire, Boy Named Sue, and of course, Folsom Prison Blues. ("I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die." Lyrics don't get any better than that. Seriously.) He has the greatest voice, too. I'm reveling in it.


posted by Rena at 5:37 PM

Friday, October 24, 2003

 

Well, it's been nearly a week, and I think I can fairly say I've come to terms with my breaking up with Chris. While I'm still not sure whether it was the "smart" or "right" thing to do, it feels so great to be single again. I didn't realize just how much of myself I was putting into that relationship until I stopped. I finally feel like myself again. Which is disappointing, as the person I felt like when I was with Chris was more mature, more worldly, more stable, serious, and settled. But it's also supremely reassuring. The person I really am is carefree, fun, and above all silly. When I'm with Sarah or Rachel I can skip down the street singing, I can laugh about my wasting hours on Mini-Putt, I can go out to coffee at 11 pm. Chris didn't ever keep me from doing those things, but I didn't ever feel as free when I was being girlfriend-Rena. I don't mean this paragraph as a dis on Chris or even on dating in general. But with who I am right now, I'm not the kind of person to commit, and there's a good reason for that. Being single now, I feel alive again.

Emma made tea today. Tea FROM IRELAND! She acted like it wasn't a big deal, but I thought it was SO cool. Made my evening.

As you can see, I've added new links to the left as well as commenting capabilities. As if anyone reads this. If you do (even if I don't know you!) talk back. Or email me. I'd be tickled pink to find out someone besides my two best girls reads this.


posted by Rena at 12:21 AM

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

 

Ah...papers both done. Can safely sleep again. I did a little math, and realized that since Friday, I've averaged six hours of sleep per day, mostly in 3-hour intervals. Not so good, since I really need a consistant 8-9 hours a night to be at top mental capacity. I don't do so well with sleep deprivation. Tonight I'm going to bed at 10. Or 9. Whenever I want to.

For my history paper (which is horrible, by the way, but at least it's done and it fits the parameters) I had to use endnotes, which I just learned how to do on Word, and it looks a thousand times sharper than parenthetical citing. Go to insert, then reference, and click footnote. I'm never using parentheses again in my papers.

Spent part of the afternoon in a physics lab (bleah!) and the other half catching up on news that I've missed. The biggest issue is partial birth abortions. I do expect Slate to be liberal, and they were true to form on this one, with two liberal articles published in the past hour. William Saletan, who I usually find intriguing and thought-provoking, said the ban was unfair because people are too ignorant to understand the technique. Then a doctor weighs in on the vagueness of the ban, which may be a fair point, but the way he talked about the abortions he does made me squeamish. He said he does abortions as far along as 34 weeks. That's in the eighth month of pregnancy. He talked about abortions where he crushed the fetus's head with forceps to kill it. Shudder. Sorry, Slate, you missed the boat on this one. Even I'm starting to get annoyed with the liberalism, and I'm pretty liberal.


posted by Rena at 5:11 PM

Monday, October 20, 2003

 

So the good thing that did come of this weekend is that James and I are talking again. I've missed that. I remarked to Sarah before picking up the phone that I was going to make this call and let him know how it went down with Chris and then buckle down and do this paper. She scoffed and said, "No you're not--you're going to brood." And unfortunately she's right. I finally have convinced myself that I did the right thing breaking up with Chris, but I haven't yet figured out how to break the news to other staffers.

Am making progress on the poli sci paper. I finished the last chapter of the book I'm writing on, and things are looking a lot clearer now. A little Mountain Dew should help hold me together long enough to write it. Ah, caffeine, my dear friend.


posted by Rena at 8:53 PM

 

Yesterday's massive hangover is thankfully gone today. Which is good, as I have two papers to write. Managed an extension on one, so I hopefully should be able to get both done acceptably well.

Sigh. The wedding has me reconsidering everything, what I want from life, who I want to spend it with, whether I need to be working towards finding "the one" or if I should just play around and "the one" will drop right into my lap. Here's the deal--seeing Leah and Pat's wedding, I realized two things: 1) I want the fancy wedding and reception, I want the white picket fence around the house in the suburbs, to be married and have children someday. 2) I want to be as in love as the two of them are after four years, as in love as my parents still are after 24 years. And I don't love Chris like that. I like him a lot, and I love spending time with him, but the bottom line is that I don't care about him as much as he cares for me.

So at some point in all this emotional turmoil, I called Chris, and told him everything. God, that was awful. It was then that I realized just how much he does love me, and how much I don't deserve him. So I charged on, knowing deep down that if I hurt him now by leaving, at least I save him the hurt that I would undoubtedly cause him in the future. Because that's how I am--I date a guy as long as he holds my interest, and then break it off to find someone else. I destroy guys. My friends back home nicknamed me "the Black Widow." I thought I was past that phase, but apparently I'm not. I hate being "that girl", but somehow I can't seem to change. Sigh.

Right now, I have to somehow put all this out of my mind and write two papers. For two straight days I've been unable to think about anything besides whether I did the right thing or not, and I'm not sure how I'll manage to do so now, but I absolutely have to.

UPDATE, 11/13/03, 11:21 pm: I hope none of you believed the second paragraph. Because it was lies. All lies. Excuses I invented to placate myself and convince me that I did the right thing. I didn't make the right choice that day. But I don't know even now if I could have done things differently. Fate, perhaps? Maybe I needed to mess things up with Chris in order to value what we had. Shit, I don't know. I'm not really more enlightened than I was a month ago, much to my chagrin.


posted by Rena at 4:01 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2003

 

OK, y'all--I know I promised details, but you're just going to have to wait. I realized that I have some loose ends to wrap up still. If you're dying to know, email me at windsorr@seattleu.edu and I'll most likely fill you in. The short version is I really need to quit drinking.


posted by Rena at 4:27 PM

 

Fuck. Why do I always have to fuck things up? I'm such a bitch--and not in a good way. Fuck. Well, I'm going to go take a shower and eat some breakfast in an attempt to defeat the hangover, and try to figure out how the hell I can do what I have to do very shortly. I'll tell y'all the story when I know how it ends.

Oh, and if you wondered, the wedding went off without a hitch. It was beautiful. I want mine to be just like it someday, that is, if I can ever settle down.


posted by Rena at 11:58 AM

Friday, October 17, 2003

 

Heh...slight change of plans. Leaving tonight for the wedding; don't know quite how I'm going to swing it. Deciding to relax about it, because there's not a whole lot else I can do. Trying to get laundry done before Erica gets here so I can dress up cute.

Any of you into anime-type strange cartoons? No? Me neither. But I like this one: Open Ward, drawn by a friend of a friend. I love her drawing of "the author." I caution you, this week's installment is pretty wacky, but if you start at the beginning, it's really interesting to see her try out different techniques.

Off to get my laundry from the dryer!


posted by Rena at 6:05 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2003

 

Soo....Must See TV was in reruns today, so hypothetically I should have used the extra hour and a half to power through a bunch of studying. Did I? Of course not, silly.

I also went out on a limb to try a Thomas Kemper ginger ale. Digusting. Not at all soda-like. I'm not a major fan of over-sweet sodas, but I do at least expect my sodas to be vaguely sweet in nature and not taste like grossness.

But the good news for today--I got the top grade on my physics exam! I really shouldn't be outscoring the Bio and nursing majors. This either says something about how easy the class is or about how I'm in the wrong major.

Speaking of majors, I have two papers due on Tuesday for history and poli sci. This is not good. I'll be spending all of tomorrow afternoon and most of Sunday in the library, doing research, then Sunday and Monday nights writing them. Not good. Oh, and while I was in the library today, they had a major power outage and had to close the place down. I took it as a sign my studying was done for the afternoon.

This Saturday is the wedding! A friend of mine from camp is marrying her long-time boyfriend (who she met at camp). This is cool for several reasons: 1)I love weddings. The romance, the dressiness, the great food and dancing at the reception; all of it. Just love it. 2) This is the first wedding I will have gone to that's my friends--not my parents' friends, not family members, but people my age who I care about. Way cool. 3) They met at camp and now they're getting married! It doesn't get sweeter than that. They're the best couple, very cute together. Reminds me of me and Chris. Sigh. 4) I'm driving there (it's on the peninsula) with four other camp staffers. Should be a way fun ride, and I bet I can snag the front seat because I'm a chick, and will be wearing a short skirt. Otherwise, I'll squish in the backseat with the guys, because let's face it, I'm not nearly as modest with these guys as I probably 'should' be. They're my buddies, and I definately appreciate the opportunity to be one of the guys. 5) These camp staffers have never seen me in anything more feminine than jeans and a tank top, so dressing up in front of them should be a trip. So much for "but you're not a REAL girl, Rena," which they mean as a compliment, and I try to take that way. I'm going to be lookin' good. I only wish Chris could be here by my side, to escort the pretty girl to the wedding. But we can't have everything, now can we?


posted by Rena at 10:07 PM

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

 

This time I am happy to report that I did get rather a lot of work done in between this post and the last one. I now also have another link (Slate is my life): Tokyo on one cliche a day, a diary-style series of one man's musings while wandering through Japan. Highlights: whale meat and hentai. The writing style I find hysterical; reminds me somewhat of Sarah.

Now back to the library!


posted by Rena at 7:51 PM

 

Yes, I'm REALLY supposed to be reading history like there's no tomorrow, but the rain picked up again, which once again is a weak excuse for not going to the library, but one that I'll take.

While procrastinating, I happened to stumble onto this, and it's hysterical. A series of Boondocks comics, with the ultimate plan to save the world. Here's installments one, two, and three. (If you're reading this after Wednesday, you'll have to go here to view that last one.) And I'll be watching (as you should be too) to see what else Aaron McGruder has to say about it. www.ucomics.com/boondocks for new daily strips, hours ahead of the print newspapers.


posted by Rena at 4:08 PM

 

Anybody else think Blogspot's personalized advertising is pretty cool? I mean, I'm not really a fan of any advertising, but this seems far superior to most other types. Just by scanning the words on my page, Blogspot can make a rather accurate guess on what I'm interested in. After a rather political post, I get advertising links to various campaign pages. After Sunday's post on the international district grocery stores, I have links for fresh jackfruit and mango tea. It's really a win-win situation: I get advertising that might actually interest me--links to pages I might actually want to see--and the companies get a higher proportion of hits for the same reason. Why did nobody think of this earlier? It's genius. OK, yeah, I'm still procrastinating on my homework.


posted by Rena at 2:37 PM

 

It's been raining all morning, which is fantastic, but kinda makes me not want to leave the room. I'm supposed to buckle down and study today, since I have no class and no physics lab, but we'll see how that goes. I've been trying to start studying since about noon, with very limited success. On the plus side, though, I scored free food from some engineering convention in the ballroom in our building. Mondo chicken burrito. And churros. And diet Pepsi. There's always diet Pepsi left over because the caterers foolishly believe that as many people like diet as regular, which is not the case. Sadly, I'd already bought lunch, but the burrito will make an excellent dinner and a half.

A couple new links: Slate's take on the rise of low-slung pants and this one, from Sarah: Mini-Putt. Excellent for procrastinating, as we all are at one point or another.

Ooh! It quit raining. Maybe I should take that as a sign that I should walk to the library now. God, why can't I be a kid again? Life was so much easier then.


posted by Rena at 2:24 PM

Monday, October 13, 2003

 

Sigh. None of this news really surprises me, which is a sad report on the state of our government.

President Bush announces Marriage Protection Week 2003. OK, so it's politically incorrect to hate gays, but it's fine to say that they don't deserve the same rights as the rest of us. I fucking hate Bush.

Secondly, Bush announces that reconstruction in Iraq is going better than anticipated. That's surprising, as even the realists didn't think it would be this hard. Here's what's really going on, or some of it: rape, forced prostitution, and 'honor killings". Sound a little like Afghanistan under the Taliban? And I'm sure this is only the beginning.

Finally, a quote from President Bush (Thanks to Jacob Weisburg of Slate's Bushisms column): "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." Right. We're a free nation, aren't we? At least that's what he wants us to think. But we're the only industrialized nation that goes around the world invading wherever the whim strikes us. And we definately have more weapons of mass destruction than any other nation, probably three times over. Conclusion? Bush is full of crap. Again, not a new idea, but one that better catch on before the 2004 elections.


posted by Rena at 10:42 AM

 

Today Sarah and I made a voyage to the International District. It was a fantastic experience! It was a leisurely walk down there in breezy sun that made me sneeze and squint. We wandered right into an outdoor market that sold every type of produce known to man, including many I had never seen or heard of before. (Ever heard of wintermelon? How about jackfruit? They're both enormous wacky fruits.) We had to wade through a lot of bruised, overripe, and otherwise subpar fruits and vegetables to get good ones, but when we did, they cost less than half what we'd have paid at the QFC. Inside the grocery stores we went into were extensive fish selections (with the freshly caught fish sorted by type and sitting out in boxes, staring up at us. There were big round pink fish, narrow blue striped ones, eels, live crabs, and some of the biggest shrimp I've ever seen. They sold a dozen or more different types of tofu, for a fraction of the price you'd have to pay in the "natural foods" section of a mainstream grocery store. One store sold probably a hundred different kinds of canned drinks from Asia--everything from sugar water and juice to tea and coffee to "aloe vera drink" and "black bean drink." We stuck with mango juice and Thai tea. All told, we spent just over $30 on groceries, and that includes an enormous wok/frying pan, salmon, kalamari, tofu, yaki soba noodles, nine different fruits and vegetables, a rack of cup o'noodle (ok, we're still white girls), and six canned drinks. The checker at one store gave us a free box of sesame crackers. A trial run, I guess. He didn't speak much English.

We left the I-district feeling very pleased with ourselves for having saved so much money. Of course, that feeling soon changed to one of panting for air, as we had neglected to notice the hill when we were headed down it. This was not one of those monster hills that rises up ahead of you, looming large and ominous. Oh, no. This was one of those that rises imperceptiply at first, then slightly more and more until you realize all at once that your legs are burning and your lungs hate you. But we had a box of rice candy to share on the trip home, so that kept us going. Kind of like when my dad took my brother and I hiking when we were little kids. (Yes, I mean little. When we were 5 and 2 years old, Dad took us on a 14-mile overnight to Indian Bar. In the winter. We were tough kids.) Anyways, when we'd get tired, Dad would bribe us along with candy. M&M's at every bridge. Cookies when we're within a mile of the campsite. Sugar makes everything better.

Tonight we cooked seafood yaki soba, and I've gotta say, it was truly phenomenal. Best food I've had since my mom took me out to lunch a couple weeks ago (Blue C Sushi, in Freemont, which I highly recommend. Different sushi dishes go around on a conveyor belt, and you get to pick which ones you want. The sushi there is excellent, but the best is the dessert. They make these ice cream balls wrapped in some kind of rice candy coating, so you can just pick up the ice cream with your fingers and eat it. Delicious.)

The Sarahs and I have resolved to start apartment hunting before the month is through. We'll see how that goes. Plenty of places between here and the I-district are renting, it's just a matter of whether we can afford the kind of place we want to live in. And there are a lot of other things we hadn't previously considered, like furniture. We have the couch, but that's it. No tables, no chairs, no dressers, and worst of all, no beds. All our furniture here is property of the university. So if we can get a semi-furnished place, that would be ideal. Otherwise, it's a trip to Goodwill with my truck to see what we can find. Another issue is high speed internet. Here we have the college network, which is excellent. But elsewhere, we may have to fend for ourselves, even use dial-up! What will become of my Slate habit?


posted by Rena at 12:20 AM

Friday, October 10, 2003

 

Just found out that the reason we've not heard anything about the upcoming third movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, is because it won't be out until June 4, 2004! They hired a new director (apparently Chris Colombus didn't want to do childrens' movies anymore) and a new Dumbledore, though I'm not sure they've announced who he is. The new director is Alfonso Cuaron, who did A Little Princess and Great Expectations, both of which were visually beautiful films. And they've already announced there will be another new director for the fourth one. Sigh. They claim that they can't get both movies finished within a time frame to make it feasible for the same director to do both films. I think it provides discontinuity, changing people all the time. But then I'm bitter about having to wait an extra seven months for the new movie.


posted by Rena at 12:06 PM

 

So I caught the debate today, much to my enjoyment. Here's my summary (and Slate's Chris Suellentrop's). To warn you, mine's not so much a summary as an in-depth description. It's VERY long.

Dean was as expected. He had some scripted remarks fitting his typical profile. He bragged about the hundreds of thousands of "grassroots" campaign supporters he has, how they've broken fundraising records with an average donation of about 70 dollars each. He once again scolds Kerry, Edwards, and Gephart for "giving Bush a blank check" to invade Iraq. Personally, I think it's time to give them a break. Nobody's forgotten they supported the Resolution, and we won't forget it. But at the same time, the information we now have is not the same as the information they had a year ago when they cast their votes, due to either Bush&Co lies, unforseeable developments in the Iraq situation, or some combination of the two. All the candidates but Lieberman now claim they would not have supported it if they knew then what they know now. I've gotta say, I do admire him for sticking to his position and not pandering to polls--he has stuck by several unpopular positions. But as Suellentrop says in his Slate dispatch: "I still find it difficult to believe that Democratic primary voters are going to rally behind the candidate who is for war in Iraq and against Hollywood." And there it is. He's great because he says what he believes, and follows his morals, but unfortunately, he's just way too right-wing.

Does anyone else wish the fringe candidates would get out of the way so we can hear what the frontrunners are saying? Nine candidates is too many. I think I'd be happy just to be rid of Carol Mosely Braun. She continues to have no clear platform, and tonight she repeated her assertation that the reason she's the best candidate is that she's a woman. To her I say this: Get off the stage. You're only making it harder for women candidates in the future (ones with political experience and positions on the tough issues.) It's not fair, but women have to assimilate into men's politics. It's not fair, but you have to run like a man, think like a man, and act like a man in order to be successful in American politics. I figure once we acheive a critical mass of women in government, the nature of US politics will shift of its own accord. But I'm not holding my breath.

Kucinich. Sigh. On a few of the issues, he says things that I really like, in a whimsical sort of way. His suggestion of a cabinet-level Minister of Peace, for example. I think that would be fantastic. But it's not really among my priorities for the nation. I'd go with reversing the tax cuts, balancing the budget, getting the economy going again (Bush, your trickle-down economics aren't working!), health care, and education. I don't know what the hell we ought to do in Iraq, but his suggestion that we just get the hell out is so ridiculous it hardly bears discussion. For the most part, Kucinich reminds me of a chihuahua--shrill and essentially pointless.

Gephardt, who I once dismissed as having no personality, is also getting more and more annoying. He did indeed repeat the description of Bush as a "miserable failure". Worse, his gesturing with a pen clenched tightly in his right hand reminds me strongly of Bob Dole. To him I say: where was this clarity on the issues in 2002, when you should have been leading Dems to victories in Congress? Get back to Washington, and do your job. This is someone else's fight.

John "Son of a Mill Worker" Edwards once again had nothing original to say beyond his background. I do appreciate where he's coming from, though, since my dad's family comes from the Carolina hills. My great-grandfather worked in a textile factory. It took three generations for us to get where we are. Edwards did it in one. That's noteworthy, especially for his time. The moderator did go so far as to attack his background, saying that Kennedy and FDR were great leaders coming from great privelege. I didn't follow that logic, but I do think if Edwards wants to be taken seriously he needs to put out some interesting policy. At a meeting I attended last spring, an Edwards representative mentioned a plan for rural America Edwards was designing. Whatever happened to that? I don't think there's any doubt that rural areas are being ignored more and more as time goes on. I'd get behind him for that. As is, my feeling for him remains lukewarm.

Kerry, the once-clear-frontrunner, is now nearly invisible in the debate. He doesn't even seem like a major player. It's just as well; he was really boring.

For weeks, my brother has been saying how cool it would be if Al Sharpton won the nomination. I've been giving him dismissive "yeah, ok" looks. But seeing Sharpton in action today--wow. That man can speak. He said nothing for the first twenty minutes of the debate, then entered powerfully. He defended Edwards on the attack on his upbringing (and did so beautifully, see the Slate article for a quote.) Sharpton doesn't attack other candidates, and he doesn't waste time repeating the same crap over and over. He says his piece concisely and convincingly, and doesn't get into the mud. Why not? He doesn't have to. He's not in the main pack, he's not going to win. So he can say what he wants to. The fact that that means he's defending others (and he did this in an earlier debate, too--you can look it up in the Slate archives if you really want) says a lot about his character, and I think speaks well to how he would act as president. If by some massive fluke he makes it to the general election, I'm campaigning like hell for him.

On Wesley Clark, who I was seeing in action for the first time tonight: he alone among the candidates has a true air of presidential gravity. Many of his remarks were pre-scripted, but he didn't sound rehearsed, he sounded earnest (OK, I stole that word from Slate). He looks the part and makes me want to respect him. Unfortunately, his position on the issues seems very much poll-driven, and I'm suspicious of his late entry into the race.

Side note on that--Hilary Clinton was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart today. He brought up the fact that Arnold just won the governorship easily after a two-month campaign. He then goes on to remark that there's a presidential election coming up ("that's like governor of all fifty states!") and to suggest that if a presidential candidate ("just totally hypothetically, let's call her 'Billary Flinton' ") were to enter the race late, she might have a chance. She made a diversion joke and made no direct response at all. If she enters the race, I'll be pissed. I personally like Hillary (she reminds me a little of myself) but nobody else does, and I think she is SO the wrong candidate for this time. Maybe the wrong candidate always. I do feel for her, though, as she was always the more successful one when she and Bill were young. Nobody thought he'd amount to anything, and they thought Hillary was going places. But now she'll always be in his shadow, and we'll never know for sure if she could have made it on her own, which is unfortunate.

So that's that. I no longer feel as bad for having missed previous debates, as this is all seeming very repetitive already. See Slate's Democratic Debate Drinking Game, cleverly subtitled "Get drunk on political discourse!" God, I love that website.


posted by Rena at 12:55 AM

Thursday, October 09, 2003

 

Ugh. Overworked, overstressed, and overtired. If I were only here to party, college would be so much easier! Why do I have to be here to get a good education? Grrr. No, seriously, I actually do enjoy all my classes, more or less, but they conspire to make my life a living hell. I literally cannot get all my classwork done and sleep also. It's not good. I've also been staying up too late studying and then sleeping through my morning classes. Gotta quit doing that.

On the plus side, Chris and I are halfway to Christmas break. Yay!! God, I miss that boy.

Sarah and I did get that couch, and our room is really rockin'. Our main dilemma is that we're cooking a lot in the room (and not eating at the cafeteria) so we're not sure if that money is going to waste. But in the meantime, it feels like it's our own place and not a dorm. Speaking of our own place, we need to start apartment hunting before too long. :)

OK, so I haven't posted anything remotely political in a long time, so here's the laundry list summary of the past month. Dean is still leading the polls among Dems, now so much so that he feels dissatisfyingly mainstream to me now. When he started getting popular, he backed off on the things that helped him most in getting there: his unwillingness to censor himself, being the one to say things like they are, and his record in Vermont. There's another debate on tomorrow at 5 pm PST on CNN (the sixth one so far, and I've only managed to catch one of the previous ones. The news media seems to think that Americans don't care about these things. What? You say they don't? Ok, fair enough.)

OK, the CIA leak from Bush's administration--the worst part about all that is that nobody is surprised. Nobody is really up in arms. There's no non-partisan committee investigating it. There will be no Starr report, and nobody will get impeached, or sent to prison, or even charged over this. I was really furious about it for a while, but that took way too much energy. Now I just sigh and move on, knowing that whoever wins the Democratic nomination, I'm going to campain like hell for. Even Al Sharpton? Oh yeah.

The Supreme Court opens its tenth season together, these same nine. One of them is bound to retire soon. Speculation is running high for Sandra Day, but I hope they're wrong. She seems actually able to examine things and think them through to a good logical conclusion. I haven't agreed with all her rulings, but at least she's no Antonin Scalia. Hot issues this season relate to criminal justice--Miranda and illegal search and seizure. Woo hoo. I don't think they'll actually address the tough issues, such as the invasiveness of the US Patriot Act, but you never know.

The California gubernatorial recall election. Was anybody really surprised? Who really thought Gray Davis could beat the Terminator? Actually, I haven't seen the numbers, but I wouldn't be surprised if he got more votes than Arnold. The recall system, though perhaps a good idea in theory, is truly messed up in execution. If the incumbent gets 49 percent of the vote, he's out, and whichever of the contenders gets a plurality of the other votes is in. That means the winner could potentially recieve ten percent of the votes and be in. But back to Arnold. A porn star may be a joke candidate, but a white fifty-something actor? A shoo-in. Remember Reagan? He was governor of California first. Thank God the Constitution doesn't allow non-natural-born citizens to be president, or we'd be in trouble in a few years. Now, I say I'm not surprised, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. The man can hardly speak English. Gray Davis was nothing special, but he wasn't a bad guy either. And he knew his stuff. Now America is even more of a joke. Grrr.

Oh, and in case everything else in the news wasn't crazy enough, the Cubs are in the playoffs. First time since 1908. Go figure.


 

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